Birth

         I have three children and out of all the pregnancies, my third pregnancy was the one that stuck with me the most. I say this because, this pregnancy was a total surprise and I wasn’t sure if I was emotionally ready. My second child was only four months at the time. I remember laying in the bed with my husband watching a movie when I went into labor. I told my husband that something didn’t feel right and that I thought we should go to the hospital. We were both tired because we had worked at our jobs all day and just wanted to relax. As the, “gas pains”, contractions became more frequent, I decided to go to the hospital. The hospital drive was an hour and a half away. Needless to say, I almost had the baby on the side of the road. Yes, we have a hospital close to our home, but, I was really funny about my doctors and the hospital that I wanted to deliver at. I was just sure that I would be sent home because in my other two pregnancies I was ready to be admitted into the hospital on our first trip. This time it was different, I was six centimeters and my water had already broken. My water broke when I made my husband pull on the side of the road for me to use the restroom. Everything happened so quickly. All I could think of was having meds and not wanting to feel the pain anymore. At the same time, I felt like I hadn’t come to terms on how I actually felt about having my son and I was going to love him. I felt like my little girl was shorted out of being able to be a baby girl and she had to grow up a little faster. I was angry and happy at the same time. After all was said and done, we named our son and in the beginning I was kind of hesitant but after holding him for a little while, I fell in love with him. I think, what brought me closer to him was the fact that we decided to give him my late grandfather’s name as his middle name. In a way, naming him after my grandfather brought the family closer. I chose this example because, this was the birth that allowed me to grow as a person and I was able to overcome the obstacle worrying about not being able to be a good parent or show attention to my third child. I was really blessed to have escaped postpartum depression and everything that came with it. One thing that I did notice is that my son is closer to my husband than he is me.  Even though I treat him the same and love him with all my heart, we did not get to make that first connection. My husband held him first and the connection was made with him first. With that being said, I think that the first connection made with a newborn is always a strong one. Development and feelings began the minute a child is born.

                In Germany, women focus on actually having the baby more than the outcome. Also, German women who hold a job can feel secure knowing their position will be waiting for them when and if they decide to return to work. As soon as a woman tells an employer that she is pregnant and going to have a baby, she cannot be fired.  So being pregnant can save your job. Women may stop working six weeks before they are due and are not allowed to work for eight weeks after giving birth, all with full pay. The German government offices keep a list of "accepted names" that parents must keep in mind when registering the name of their child. In the case of an unusual name, they must give good reason as to why an exception should be made. The government policy is intended to act in the best interest of the child, in an effort to toward potential ridicule of a child with a name that's too different. I wanted to stay active with my pregnancies, so I worked until the day I went into labor. I wish we were able to get full pay for eight weeks. Usually in the U.S., women have to save up leave time or take leave without pay for up to six weeks. Also in the U.S., you are allowed to name your child with no rules or regulations. Everyone is free to give their child any name they would want them to have.

Schalken, L. (n.d.). Birth customs around the world. Retrieved from http://www.parents.com/pregnancy/giving-birth/vaginal/birth-customs-around-the-world/

Kyson Jack Caillier with a picture of my grandfaher Jack

 Kyson Jack now at 1yr old